This post is something I acted on in January, wrote about in February and remains true in March.
Something I’ve been practising, over - what feels like it’s been the last three months - but in truth, is probably closer to the last three years, is saying the thing. I have mastered the art of keeping things locked up inside and driving myself to distraction with a loop-de-loop of thought.
No matter how I theorise or categorise my thoughts, the ultimate answer is always say the thing. Have the conversation, whether that needs to be with someone else or with yourself. Sometimes the saying is the doing, and at other times, it precedes it: admittance making way for action.
In January, my friendmentioned a saying by Brene Brown: “clarity is kindness.” These are forever words for me to hold onto and walk with. Saying the thing brings clarity, freedom, and tears through the membrane of fear. It says “these are my ambitions, wants, desires or needs.”
And so follows a list of things I have said, want to say or am saying now, in no particular order.
I miss you
This isn’t right for me any more
I can’t afford that right now
I’m worth more
I want to earn more money
This is what I want
I’m very touchy-feely
I’m scared no one will get me
I want to start a YouTube channel
I didn’t want to say as I thought you’d judge me
I wish you were here
I’m sad today
I feel lonely
I shouldn’t have to deal with that
This makes me feel anxious
I don’t agree
Don’t f**k me over
I’m envious of that
And look at that. I said it all and I’m still standing. Taller, actually. Bolder. More aware. Self-affirmed.
We can do hard things. Even when the doing is saying the thing.
Maybe your journal can be the perfect practice ground for saying the thing. I know mine has been with each and every one.
Part two coming soon (if I can find the courage) x
This is such a good prompt to think about the things we might need to say but aren't saying!
THAT. That is so powerful! To find the courage to share our truth. Yes, it can hurt. But it's for our survival :)