I shrink because I want to be loved. And as a child, staying small and quiet was the only way I could get/keep love. This is something I’m very conscious of now, and try to work my way through it every time the impulse to shrink comes up... which is more often than I can express. Thank you for giving us a space to reflect these truths, friend.
I absolutely relate to what you're saying, yes! I love this line you use to describe your creativity: "She is eclectic and unruly and untameable." I know you said you want her to be sort of tidier in a way (I know that feeling too - thoughts, please pick a lane, pick a theme!) and to be sure that she's making sense but she's definitely making sense to me here! I say let her run wild and see what happens. ✨ I think when we do that - share in all our messy, imperfect wildness - we show each other how to do it. And in seeing each other do it we can all feel a little less alone, and shrink a little less. Thank you for sharing these thoughts so beautifully. And thank you for sharing my letter too, that was such a lovely surprise! ❤️
I feel this! I shrink when I sense my potential because I fear failure...and I fear success, too. Because I fear it’ll be fleeting. Which is ultimately still a fear of failure.
I’ve been feeling this so deeply of late. Even yesterday’s therapy session was on this very topic! You’ve written my persistent internal monologue here. So grateful you found all these words and have been brave enough to put them out here for us to hold with you. Joss xx
Thank you for sharing my love and you’re absolutely not alone ❤️ I shrink in conversation sometimes, when someone else is owning & taking up space in such a way that makes me feel I shouldn’t speak, can’t interrupt, can’t use my voice at the same time. I want to retreat in my cocoon to treat my overwhelm. Feeling your words deeply 😘😘
Gosh… I shrink when I want to expand… that got me!!! I’ve been doing that all my life… I’ve always been a bit fearful of my own expansion. Thank you for the words… so much of it resonates, but that second line down hit me hard! Xxx
You are definitely speaking to an audience of more than one, as I include myself in much of what you say. Shrinking is all part of feeling like we are not enough, like we don’t matter, like no one is listening. I hear you.
I just deleted ‘it is endlessly frustrating’, because it is so much more than that. I break my own heart repeatedly.
But one thing I am slowly slooooowwwwllyyyy trying is to reduce the attachment I have for the thing. I think it’s often the weight of possibility and hope that I shrink from. I am trying to introduce more meh-ness, less hope - which sounds a little depressing now I read it here, but is helping.
Gong-like resonating here! "I shrink to make way for others because there is clearly not enough support for us all, so I’ll take myself out of the running." Wow. Whoa.
We all need to hear and reflect on this I reckon. Shrinking can feel like safety & self-protection and a fair reaction to a world that wants us small, but its remnants remain even when we don't need or want it. My word you deserve to expand, the world and all of us need more Sasha xx
As a fellow shrinker, I hear you. I've tried to move into accepting my shrinking and stop judging myself for it but instead thinking of it like origami. I might fold up but it's creative, I can unfold into my original shape and then make new shapes, and sometimes the new shapes are stronger than the original. If that analogy brings you any comfort, use it.
I shrink because I want to be loved. And as a child, staying small and quiet was the only way I could get/keep love. This is something I’m very conscious of now, and try to work my way through it every time the impulse to shrink comes up... which is more often than I can express. Thank you for giving us a space to reflect these truths, friend.
Oof. I loved Alex's video too...
Just looked up antonyms for 'shrink':
"Blow up. Face. Expand. Meet. Take on. Loosen. Stretch. Strengthen.
RISE."
Double oof.
💛
P.s big thank you for the share!
Oh, Sasha, I have pages and pages filled in my journal on shrinking. This was like reading one of those pages.
I shrink because giving up before I really tried feels bad, but familiar.
And I shrink because I learned from a young age that small me is preferable and diffusing.
And I also shrink to try and be streamlined (I think if I didn’t I would probably catch all the winds and it could be beautiful).
And I shrink for all the reasons you shrink, too. The fear, the new, the expanding, the overwhelm.
I absolutely relate to what you're saying, yes! I love this line you use to describe your creativity: "She is eclectic and unruly and untameable." I know you said you want her to be sort of tidier in a way (I know that feeling too - thoughts, please pick a lane, pick a theme!) and to be sure that she's making sense but she's definitely making sense to me here! I say let her run wild and see what happens. ✨ I think when we do that - share in all our messy, imperfect wildness - we show each other how to do it. And in seeing each other do it we can all feel a little less alone, and shrink a little less. Thank you for sharing these thoughts so beautifully. And thank you for sharing my letter too, that was such a lovely surprise! ❤️
I feel this! I shrink when I sense my potential because I fear failure...and I fear success, too. Because I fear it’ll be fleeting. Which is ultimately still a fear of failure.
I’ve been feeling this so deeply of late. Even yesterday’s therapy session was on this very topic! You’ve written my persistent internal monologue here. So grateful you found all these words and have been brave enough to put them out here for us to hold with you. Joss xx
Thank you for sharing my love and you’re absolutely not alone ❤️ I shrink in conversation sometimes, when someone else is owning & taking up space in such a way that makes me feel I shouldn’t speak, can’t interrupt, can’t use my voice at the same time. I want to retreat in my cocoon to treat my overwhelm. Feeling your words deeply 😘😘
You’re definitely not alone. Maybe we shrink so we can find our strength eventually. 🥀
Definitely not alone ❤️ I shrink when there's something I really really want to do, and the weight of the task or of my possible failure is too heavy.
I related to a lot of these- thanks for sharing. I would add for myself ‘I shrink because I’m just really tired.’
And like a few people have said in the comments, what you share in different formats never seems inconsistent/confusing etc- we love it all :)
I shrink when I'm afraid of being rejected.
Gosh… I shrink when I want to expand… that got me!!! I’ve been doing that all my life… I’ve always been a bit fearful of my own expansion. Thank you for the words… so much of it resonates, but that second line down hit me hard! Xxx
You are definitely speaking to an audience of more than one, as I include myself in much of what you say. Shrinking is all part of feeling like we are not enough, like we don’t matter, like no one is listening. I hear you.
I feel every single one of these shrinks, deeply.
I just deleted ‘it is endlessly frustrating’, because it is so much more than that. I break my own heart repeatedly.
But one thing I am slowly slooooowwwwllyyyy trying is to reduce the attachment I have for the thing. I think it’s often the weight of possibility and hope that I shrink from. I am trying to introduce more meh-ness, less hope - which sounds a little depressing now I read it here, but is helping.
Thank you so much for the recommendation 🤍
Gong-like resonating here! "I shrink to make way for others because there is clearly not enough support for us all, so I’ll take myself out of the running." Wow. Whoa.
We all need to hear and reflect on this I reckon. Shrinking can feel like safety & self-protection and a fair reaction to a world that wants us small, but its remnants remain even when we don't need or want it. My word you deserve to expand, the world and all of us need more Sasha xx
As a fellow shrinker, I hear you. I've tried to move into accepting my shrinking and stop judging myself for it but instead thinking of it like origami. I might fold up but it's creative, I can unfold into my original shape and then make new shapes, and sometimes the new shapes are stronger than the original. If that analogy brings you any comfort, use it.