The knowing, the knowing and the knowing.

Today I’d like to write about knowing things.

I have concluded that for me, there are three types of knowing. They can overlap or intersect at points to help you get to the heart of what’s true, but it always comes back to these three: the knowing you NO, the knowing you know, and the knowing you feel.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

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The knowing you NO.

We can live whole lives acting as if the knowing is a group decision that takes place out there somewhere. One that affects us, but doesn’t include us.

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Sometimes, I don’t know.

I don’t know the answer.

I don’t know how I feel.

I don’t know enough to make a decision or take the next step.

I just don’t know.

Sometimes you don’t know. Not enough time has passed for what’s true for you to come into view. Sometimes you don’t know or you won’t know until you do the thing or choose the thing, unable to theorise or hypothesise your way into being able to see what’s on the other side of making a decision.

During those times, I don’t ask myself what I know, but what I NO. I may not know what I want, but I can often easily identify what I don’t want. How I definitely don’t want to feel. How I don’t want to spend my time. I believe that you can garner just as much information and guidance on where you want to be, from knowing where you definitely don’t.

But here, I’ll make a small interjection. Because sometimes, it isn’t that you don’t know (what you want/how you feel etc.), but that you don’t want to admit what you know. The answer seems ludicrous. It’s silly. ‘Where are my sensibilities?’ you ask. Everyone will think I’m mad for making that choice. We can live whole lives acting as if the knowing is a group decision that takes place out there somewhere. One that affects us, but doesn’t include us.

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The knowing you know.

We don’t always need to feel like going to bed, we just need to go to bed.

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The logical knowing is the sensible stuff. It makes sense. They’re the staid, reliable truths that keep us safe and well. Logical knowing builds our routines, pays the bills, and peels us out of bed when our alarm - having been snoozed for the third time - goes off again. We know it’s time to get up: so we get on that train, get to our laptop, or get our morning routine going.

The logical knowing is the ‘should’ knowing. Yes, we know we should be drinking water, eating the rainbow, and that we should have gone to bed an hour ago.

It’s factual. And while it has its uses, it can feel boring and dare I say it, a little obvious? But sometimes the obvious boring truths are the truths we need. We don’t always need to feel like going to bed, we just need to go to bed.

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The knowing you feel.

It may not make sense to others, but it doesn’t need to.

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This can be the knowing that is dismissed as whimsical, fluffy nonsense. It’s idyllic and shiny and not applicable to real life. And again, it comes back to those by-standers. The jury we carry with us who we want to sign off on all of our decisions.

It may not make sense to others, but it doesn’t need to.

Now, you might be expecting me to finish up these thoughts by saying, throw caution to the wind, go with your gut! But my best decisions to date have come from the knowing I no, which is anchored by logical knowings, and spearheaded by the knowing that I feel.

I can generally trust the knowing I feel now (or the knowing combined) because I’ve learnt what each of the voices sounds like and which I need to lean into more in that particular scenario (even if I don’t want to).

What I’m coming to learn about this life is that whether you use a particular knowing to make a decision or a little bit of all of them, each relies on having the courage to ask the right questions, and then, having the gumption to live the answers in real-time.