Last week was a hard week. One sentence that I find that I keep repeating to myself is ‘I am building a beautiful life.’ I then remind myself to amend that to, “I am building and living a beautiful life” because no one should feel like they are perpetually working towards something in the distance. No, I am living this life, now. It is beautiful now.
A beautiful life isn’t solely something with a pleasing aesthetic. In fact, it hasn’t got much to do with how it looks at all. This is a coinciding thought I stumbled upon about being called ‘beautiful.’ I have struggled with that word, as I’ve always thought it was something I should be in order to be loved or attracted to, but while dating, I realised it has minuscule meaning to me if it has no depth to it: if you can’t tell me about the beauty that comes from my mind, my acts, my being or creativity, it’s largely meaningless to me.
A beautiful life is a reflection of me in my environment. Knowing that I’m living a life I have decided on. Moments that reflect the thoughtful people I have in my life. Ones where you feel understood.
Beauty is quiet to me. Slow mornings. Moving my body, my way. Journalling by candlelight in the morning. Smiling while doing something that might appear random to others, but suits me down to the ground. A beautiful life is knowing I am living in all of this goodness, and that there is more to come. Beauty is kindness or thoughtfulness. It’s a voice note. It’s a friend checking in on you.
Beauty was looking up and noticing pink skies in the evening and knowing that I’d made it through the literal darkness of January. My beautiful life is marking one month in a new job that has parameters that feel so aligned with the life I want to live. And am living.
My beautiful life has been evident in two-hour walks in good company, Sunday brunch dates and safe spaces. Flowers from Nina. Booking that AirBnB. Booking a trip for later in the year. Finally making dinner plans. Seeing friends without occasion or reason. I want more of that this year, for sure. Writing here. Having my car washed (about 2.5 months overdue). Space to let my brain roam.
In amongst the hard, I am building and living a beautiful life.
I'm so with you on slow mornings and washing the car. Odd combo:-)
such a beautiful post